Marilyn Joyce/Augusta,GA: If my broadcast listeners recall, in June 2006, we discussed the very public beating of Kim Myers by her husband, Brett in front of a restaurant in Boston. Multiple witnesses placed 911 calls during the incident in which the Philadelphia pitcher left his wife lying on the concrete following repeated blows to her face. She bailed him out of jail. In October, she requested (in writing) for all charges to be dropped stating there is no violence in our family. In the presence of so many witnesses, the charges should have stood – something the judge knew and chose to ignore. Kim Myers is not the first sports wife to drop assault charges to try to save a doomed marriage.
In reality, some of our greatest conflicts occur behind closed doors, in the privacy of our own homes. For example, in a 1991 survey conducted by the Justice Department, only 9% of acts of domestic violence were committed by spouses; the majority of the offenders were boyfriends or ex-husbands. In a more recent 2003 study reported by the Criminology journal, higher rates of physical violence occurred with live-in relationships. Assault is a level of conflict that has escalated beyond acceptable levels; and these findings indicate that divorce does not necessarily stop the possibility of a physical attack among couples. Even co-habitation, which many have used to screen the relationship for potential problems, does not prevent violent conflict in intimate relationships.
We’ve all faced conflict resolution dilemmas: dealing with difficult co-workers, working for a demanding manager, confronting challenging employees, or a strong willed child. Developing life coping skills is an essential problem solving measure which is the responsibility of each individual, says Psychotherapist Dornell Mister, MSW, CAC II (Orlando, Florida) during a 2007 radio interview (In the Purpose Zone with Marilyn Joyce) on WKZK. Basically, this means: if you want something different, you have to do something different. How many times have we heard that one?
Years ago, a neighbor confided she had stopped watching the soaps because, after weeks of picking fights with her husband every evening; she realized she was actually angry with some unfaithful soap opera guy. She solicited my support of her new understanding that changing old behaviors would yield different results. A reality check, self-evaluation, and a behavioral adjustment ended a major relationship conflict. A lesson that Kim Myers and Judge Raymond Dougan obviously have not learned.
What about these relationship conflicts that end in physically violent outbursts can it be prevented? That depends upon the attitude of the individuals. My neighbors were willing to take a close look at their situation, evaluate honestly, and make realistic adjustments before things got out of hand. In the end, the love and respect they had for one another prevailed.
‘A relationship is beyond a relationship. There is one that has value, one that has respect, and there’s one that has the ability to grow and be all you can be together – not all you can be by yourself’, says Dornell Mister.
Here is a summary of the 7 key strategies for successful relationship conflict resolution Dornell Mister shared during The Purpose Zone broadcast:
- Agree to disagree
- Learn how to compromise
- Respect the person you’re with (their thoughts, opinions, and feelings)
- You must love your partner
- Avoid the use of drugs and alcohol as they affect your thought patterns (Kim & Brett had both been drinking)
- It’s difficult to problem solve on an empty stomach
- Do an in-depth self-evaluation in order to develop life skills (strategies) that work effectively for you to resolve conflict
Survive, Get a Life & Do Your Destiny!!
Once Every 15 Seconds In The USA, A Woman Is Battered By A Man
Once Every 15 Seconds In The USA, A Man Is Battered By A Woman
Marilyn Joyce/Augusta, GA: How easy is it to be tricked out of the right to vote? Not possible, you say? Think again.
Ever had a traffic violation? Got carried away at a college or office party and found yourself on the other end of a disorderly conduct or public intoxication charge? What about the divorce from hell coupled with false child abuse charges that were next to impossible for you to disprove? Traffic violations, disorderly conduct and abuse are examples of misdemeanor and felony charges that lead to a whole process involving jail, fines and probation. Wish we were all good little girls and boys, but the truth is: stuff happens and people are sometimes guilty of behaviors they now regret. Unfortunately, if you find yourself in the system, chances are someone in the system told you that you’ve lost the right to vote. Worse than that: you believed it.
Let’s be honest. There are those who feel superior to people who’ve been in trouble with the law. They boldly say that felons’ rights are unimportant. How quickly they forget that Robert Downey Jr. is a felon. Martha Stewart is a felon. Country singer Glen Campbell is a felon. Lewis “Scooter” Libby is a felon. Home Improvement, Toy Story, and Santa Clause 1,2 and 3 actor, Tim Allen is a felon. It’s all too true that prominent figures in our society stand a better chance of leniency when facing charges. While regular citizens – men and women alike – are more likely to face the stigma and consequences of a criminal record. Yet, I know many respected lawyers, doctors, nurses and pastors who are felons. Most people have no idea how many felons they interact with on a daily basis.
Nationally, an estimated 5.3 million Americans are denied the right to vote because of laws that prohibit voting by people with felony convictions. 1.4 million Black men and 2 million Whites and Hispanics. According to the Lawyers’ Committee for Civil Rights Under Law (a nonpartisan, nonprofit organization formed in 1963 at the request of President John F. Kennedy) and The Sentencing Project (a criminal justice system research and advocacy organization) ex-felons comprise 2.5% of the state of Georgia’s population. 53% are African Americans which is 11% of the entire Black male population in the state. Over 66,000 African-American ex-felons in Georgia have not registered to vote. My question: what if they have not registered because of misleading information? They’ve been disenfranchised.
Disenfranchised: a word we hear a great deal during election cycles. It means: to deprive, rob, deny, take away civil or electoral privileges. The state of Georgia has passed laws in an attempt to address this issue, but if people abuse their power and continue to dispense false and misleading information, we must step up our efforts to educate the community.
Ten states restrict voting rights for people who only have misdemeanor records. Only 2 states allow people to vote while in prison: Vermont and Maine. In a few states, including Virginia and Georgia, you lose the right to vote while in jail, prison, while on probation, and while paying fines. Losing the right to vote until all fines or fees are being paid, has been called a poll tax – clearly a violation of the 24th Constitutional Amendment. Yet, only the state of Mississippi, in accordance with the 24th Amendment allows felons to vote during presidential and federal elections.
During the 2008 presidential elections, over 250,000 ex-felons were eligible to vote in the state of Georgia. Yet, less than 10% actually exercised their rights. Not surprising when I discovered probation offices told felons and then told me (to my face) that misdemeanor and felony offenders lose their right to vote after they’ve satisfied all of the terms of their sentencing. During my Georgia investigation, young Black men in particular told me they had ‘caught a charge’ (felony) in the past and their parole/probation officer told them (falsely) they’d lost their voting rights. One was told to wait 5 years before he could register. One said he’d been off probation for 3 years, but his probation officer told him that he would be arrested if he ever registered to vote. ‘I don’t want to go back to jail’. In time, I’d had about 50 similarly disturbing conversations.
Studies have shown that young people (under 30 years old) are notorious for getting their information by word of mouth instead of checking things out for themselves. They believe the word on the streets and anything they hear from YouTube® to the criminal justice system spreads like wildfire. I was unable to convince these men that their former probation officers had talked them into the state of disenfranchisement. If you have a criminal record, it is your responsibility to be fully informed and to then act on the truth that you know.
Many states make it next to impossible to get voting rights restored. Mississippi, for example requires each individual felon to ask their state representative to write a bill that has to be passed by both houses of the state to give that one individual their voting rights back. That requires literally thousands of people to request thousands of individual bills to be sent through the legislative process. In Georgia, since 1983 felons have had the automatic right to vote when their probation, parole, and fines are complete:
“Georgia law allows a person who has completed their sentence, (including any fines, parole or probation) to immediately re-register. There is no waiting period, special application or other process. All a person needs to do is re-register.” From the office of the Secretary of State
Read the Georgia law yourself right here:
Georgia Constitution, Article II, § 1
Every person who is a citizen of the United States and a resident of Georgia as defined by law, who is at least 18 years of age and not disenfranchised by this article, and who meets minimum residency requirements as provided by law shall be entitled to vote at any election by the people. The General Assembly shall provide by law for the registration of electors.
No person who has been convicted of a felony involving moral turpitude may register, remain registered, or vote except upon completion of the sentence.
Georgia Code § 21-2-216
(a) No person shall vote in any primary or election held in this state unless such person shall be:
(1) Registered as an elector in the manner prescribed by law;
(2) A citizen of this state and of the United States;
(3) At least 18 years of age;
(4) A resident of this state and of the county or municipality in which he or she seeks to vote; and
(5) Possessed of all other qualifications prescribed by law.
(b) In addition to the qualifications in subsection (a) of this Code section, no person who has been convicted of a felony involving moral turpitude may register, remain registered, or vote except upon completion of the sentence and no person who has been judicially determined to be mentally incompetent may register, remain registered, or vote unless the disability has been removed.
Civil rights leader, Fannie Lou Hamer would be disappointed to see the Black community depriving themselves of a right that ultimately caused her early death. In 1964, when she was 44 years old, Fannie Lou Hamer said some people showed up in her Mississippi community to inform them that Black people could vote. Even though the 15th Amendment had given Blacks the right to vote in 1870, most Blacks (especially in the South) had no idea they could participate in the political process. When she learned she had been disenfranchised, that very same day Fannie joined 19 people from her community for the bus ride that would take them to court to register to vote. On the way, they were stopped, arrested and beaten all night. That did not squelch her determination. Not only did she register to vote, Hamer went on to make legislative history. However, Fannie’s decision to register caused her family to lose everything and the injuries from that severe beating led to her early death in 1977.
Today, all one must do to be informed is go to the library, pick up a newspaper or do a search on the internet. There is not a good reason to be afraid, ignorant, intimidated, denied, robbed, deceived or disenfranchised anymore. Now that you know, go out and Do Your Destiny! Register to vote.
Marilyn Joyce, social commentator, speaker and author of ‘If He Doesn’t Deliver; Domestic Violence in the Religious Home’. Join her for more straight talk about abuse and success strategies to survive, get a life and Do Your Destiny at: www.TheJNewsWeekly.com. Join her in cyberspace and post your thoughts on the blog: www.ThePurposeZone.com.
(NAPS)— There’s a rising need in today’s society for compassionate, well-trained, professional counselors and human services staff dedicated to addressing the deeper family issues hidden beneath complex family court cases, such as those involving child custody, domestic violence, addictions and abuse. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, jobs in the psychology field, human services and counseling are expected to grow by more than 20 percent between 2012 and 2022.
The fields of counseling and human services provide opportunity for career growth in the private sector and with the government agencies due, in part, to an increase in the adoption of mandatory mediation by family law courts.
Right now, however, many of these types of services are not sufficiently integrated. For many families, addiction, domestic violence and the criminal justice system thwart their hopes for healing.
“Family courts across the country are experiencing a crisis through a lack of resources due to budget reductions, an increase in the number of divorce and child custody cases, and inadequate or deficient processes for handling cases involving these issues,” says Rick Froyd, Ph.D., program dean of counseling and human services for University of Phoenix College of Social Sciences.
“More than ever, we have an opportunity to train the next generation of counselors and human services professionals to take a humanistic approach to addressing these complex issues in our community courtrooms and public programs,” Dr. Froyd says.
For people working in the field and students who hope to someday make an impact in the community as licensed counselors or human services staff, the University works directly with the American Association for Marriage and
Family Therapy, American Counseling Association, National Board for Certified Counselors, and National Organization for Human Services to ensure that these programs fill skills gaps in social science professions.
Dr. Froyd is a licensed marriage and family therapist who served as a child custody recommending counselor and mediator in the California court system for 10 years.
You can find further facts on the need for counselors and the courses that can help you become a part of meeting that need at www.phoenix.edu/colleges_divisions/social-sciences.html
(NAPSI)—Stop for a moment and think about what you fear most. Is it health related? For you? For a loved one? Maybe it has to do with the heart.
Heart disease is the number one killer of women1 and is more deadly than all forms of cancer combined. In fact, it is estimated that heart disease kills approximately one woman every minute. And women may experience symptoms differently than the more commonly known symptoms men experience. What if there is a way to know whether you should be worried? Would you want to know?
The first step is learning. Learning how to recognize signs of heart disease and one of its most common forms: obstructive coronary artery disease (CAD), which causes one in seven deaths in the U.S.2
Now, a new health education campaign called Spread the Word™ is encouraging women and the men who love them to get the facts about the symptoms of obstructive CAD. HealthyWomen, Nurse Practitioners in Women’s Health, Coalition of Labor Union Women and Society of Women’s Health Research want you to get informed.
What is Coronary Artery Disease?
Coronary artery disease is the hardening and narrowing of the arteries that provide vital oxygen and nutrients to the heart.
What Symptoms Look Like
What you need to know is diagnosing obstructive coronary artery disease can be difficult, even more so in women because they can experience symptoms differently than men. So, what can this look like?
Common Symptoms in Men
- Chest discomfort, tightness, pain or pressure
- Shortness of breath
Common Symptoms in Women
- Unexplained fatigue or sudden onset of weakness
- Tightness or pressure in the throat, jaw, shoulder, abdomen, back or arm
- Indigestion or heartburn
- Squeezing, heaviness, or burning sensation in the upper body
- Abdominal discomfort or fullness
- Nausea or vomiting
- Dizziness or light-headedness
- Body aches
What You Can Do
There are several diagnostic tests available for obstructive CAD, including exercise stress tests and cardiac imaging. There’s also a simple blood test that uses age, sex and gene expression (the Corus®CAD test) to get an at the moment look at your risk of obstructive CAD, is designed with women in mind and can help doctors rule out obstructive CAD as the cause of your symptoms. Some tests carry certain risks, like radiation exposure, while others do not. They all have their uses. What’s important is to talk to your doctor to determine which is right for you.
If you or a loved one is experiencing symptoms of obstructive CAD, talk to your doctor. And if you want to raise awareness of obstructive CAD as an important women’s health issue, join in and Spread the Word™! Visit www.GoSpreadtheWord.com, to find health information and tools that can be used to discuss testing options.
Quick Tips for Women: If you have symptoms of obstructive coronary artery disease, what should you ask your doctor?
- What are the advantages and disadvantages of each testing option (including risks and side effects)?
- Are there any tests more appropriate for women?
- What lifestyle changes will best improve my health, and what are my treatment options?
To learn more about obstructive CAD and testing options for women, please visit www.GoSpreadtheWord.com.
1. American Heart Association. Facts about Cardiovascular Disease in Women. Available at www.goredforwomen.org/home/about-heart-disease-in-women/facts-about-heart-disease/. Last accessed on December 18, 2014.
- Mozzafarian D, Benjamin EJ, Go AS, et al. on behalf of the American Heart Association Statistics Committee and Stroke Statistics Subcommittee. Heart Disease and Stroke Statistics – 2015 Update: A Report from the American Heart Association. Circulation. 2015;131:e29-e322.
(NAPS)—According to a recent Harris Poll, data breaches of personal and corporate computers increased 23 percent from 2013 to 2014—but fortunately, most people have changed their online behavior to protect themselves.
What’s Being Done The survey by University of Phoenix College of Information Systems and Technology found 46 percent of those surveyed are not conducting transactions on a shared computer and 35 percent are changing passwords more often, not giving out personal information online, and not using public Wi-Fi. “Our daily tasks have become inextricably linked to online activity and, as a result, so too will our exposure to information security vulnerabilities,” said Dennis Bonilla, executive dean for University of Phoenix College of Information Systems and Technology.
What You Can Do According to Bonilla, to protect yourself online, you should:
- Select quality passwords and change them often. Passwords are the easiest way for thieves to access accounts that hold important information stored on the Web. To make it harder for them to access, use passwords that combine letters, numbers and characters.
- Beware of e-mails from people you don’t know. Be especially careful of e-mails with attachments and links. These e-mails may contain viruses and malware that give cybercriminals access to your computer.
- Always use a firewall and keep it up to date. These block viruses. Most computers and software come with a firewall already installed. If not, there are many free programs available.
- Don’t give out personal information online. Most organizations won’t ask you to do so. If you get something questionable, ask the organization to verify the e-mail’s or request’s authenticity.
- Make sure the browser is secure. When providing any credit card or other financial information online, look for the lock in your browser. The padlock indicates a secure connection protected by encryption technology.
Education’s Answers In addition, the study discovered, nearly all U.S. adults polled say the public and private sectors should invest in more cybersecurity technology or personnel. In fact, experts estimate another 1.5 million cybersecurity professionals will be needed in the next five years.
“Higher education institutions must work with industry leaders to meet the workforce demand by attracting a broader pool of candidates into the field and providing them with innovative curriculum that is aligned with industry standards,” stated Bonilla. “At University of Phoenix College of Information Systems and Technology, we are working to accomplish this by offering a number of cybersecurity certificate programs that can be taken stand alone or en route with an IT degree.”
The College offers associate, bachelor’s, master’s and doctoral degree programs. Providing innovative digital learning tools developed to suit all learning styles, the College focuses on building technical knowledge and its successful application to real-world business environments.
Learn More For more information, visit phoenix.edu/programs/gainful-employment and www.phoenix.edu/technology. You can help protect your computer data from cybertheft.
Domestic violence – the secret crisis that exists throughout religious (and non-religious) households creating abusive foundations that spread through generations. Confronted in the pages of this bold, timely, and gripping book.
Newly revised and coming soon!
Survive, Get a Life, and Respond to the cry of your Purpose. Do Your Destiny! Marilyn Joyce
Column as it first appeared August 2007 in TSV News Mag
Marilyn Joyce/Augusta, GA: Life happens to us all. It matters not how powerful a person of faith you may be or how much you love God. It matters not how much you give, how often you go to church or how long and hard you pray. It matters not if you have little or much. If you are alive – life happens. Who hasn’t heard about the very public, brutal assault on Dr. Juanita Bynum Weeks by her husband, Thomas Weeks in a parking lot in Atlanta, very early Wednesday morning on August 22, 2007? As shocking as it is, Dr. Juanita is not the first (or the last) woman (or pastor’s wife) to be a victim of domestic violence. This deplorable situation has started long overdue conversations about abuse in the pulpit and abuse of all kinds.
Amazingly enough, women in the church have been abused emotionally, physically, financially and psychologically for years. In fact, a study conducted by a group headed by Kameri Christy-McMullin indicates that it’s more likely for educated African American women to be abused than any other group of women. Ironic isn’t it that the more we strive to improve ourselves by doing things like obtaining a college degree – the greater the risks?
Then, as if to add insult to injury, the very next day Paula White and her husband Randy announced their plans to divorce. Their 23,000 member church is still reeling from the news. Both ministries’ (Weeks and White) focus was relationships; meanwhile, none of us were aware that both couples have been separated for months.
Their congregations had no idea because in the 21st century, pastors don’t stay home. They travel constantly and live on TV and on the radio. Didn’t that used be called evangelism? I speak with pastors on the road all the time that don’t know their members names, don’t have time for their own flock, their own kids, and their own spouse – but they’re famous on the road. Everybody knows their name. Can you say ’spiritual abuse’?
We love, support and pray for our leaders. But in light of these recent events, it is not surprising to hear young believers asking: ‘if their marriages can’t work; is there any hope for the rest of us’? In the case of Paula and Randy White, they say they just grew apart in the midst of all of the work involved in the ministry. Paula has her own condo in Trump Towers in New York in addition to the homes she and her husband own in several states. Juanita and Thomas Weeks, III own homes and businesses all over the country.
Now there’s a fly in the ointment. While they were preaching to us about our messed up relationships, these couples were living apart in separate mansions. The truth constantly changes the facts about what we really believe. Is ’we’ve grown apart’ grounds for divorce in any version of the Bible you’ve read lately?
One thing is clear; it’s very common for marriages (even Christian marriages) to have problems when the wife is more successful than her husband, as both Juanita and Paula are. Both couples (each partner) had been married before – second marriages for all involved – and they’re sure to marry again. But, did you know that one fifth of African American women between the ages of 40-44 have never been married? Never. Just thought I’d mention that as food for thought.
Divorced or not, we are going to see Juanita, Thomas, Paula, and Randy turn their dilemmas into greater ministries with all of the books, tapes and videos we’re willing to pay for and all of the conferences we’re willing to attend. I recall more than one sermon about giving your way out of crisis. Mark my words; coming soon to a pulpit near you will be a sermon that will give you that opportunity. I believe in giving, but I also recognize manipulation. If you haven’t learned how to discern the difference, the months ahead may cost you.
It is time to have conversations about some unpleasant facts of life. The conversation is not about Juanita and Paula, but it does include them for we have longed for relationships like the ones we thought they had. We have given to ministries that were flawed. We have forgotten that preachers are people too. They face the same problems we do. They go to school, raise children, pay taxes. They put their pants on one leg at a time just like you and I….and apparently they beat their wives. I don’t think we can afford to ever forget that.
Survive, Get a Life, Do Your Destiny! Marilyn Joyce